Alias: Old Man Mayhem
Hometown: El Paso, TX
Mental Health Journey: I started to struggle with mental health towards the end of my twenties. I had already developed a pretty (un)healthy reliance on alcohol to help cope with some of the hardships I was experiencing at the time and began self-medicating when I began experiencing panic attacks, nightmares, and bouts of anxiety and depression. Alcohol quickly devolved into pill popping and my mental health followed. I credit my wife with saving my life. With some (really, really) tough love, she showed me exactly how destructive my mental illness and substance abuse really was and encouraged me get professional help. After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, PTSD, and a variety of other depression and anxiety related disorders, my path to recovery became clear. It wasn’t easy. I had to relive some military and personal traumas, finding the right combination of medication was daunting, and finally admitting certain things about myself was really tough. Overall, I’m grateful for my journey. If anybody can learn anything from me, I hope that it’s never too late to get help. Admit your shortcomings, ask for help, take your meds, and have the courage to change. It’s not easy and it takes time, but you will not find peace until you do.
Best Mental Health Advice I Ever Received: The days that you think you don’t need your meds are the days you need them the most.
Music stuff
Best Concert:
Idles with Ganser in Dallas, May 2024. Just Wow.
All-Time Top 5 Bands/Artists:
- Deftones
- Smashing Pumpkins
- Nine Inch Nails
- Beck
- The Doors
Top 5 Current Favorite Bands/Artists:
- ††† (Crosses)
- Unknown Mortal Orchestra
- Heartworms
- Hinds
- Idles
Favorite Bands/Artists that a lot of people have never heard of: Dr. Dog, Sleaford Mods, Foxing, Clothesline From Hell, Roar, Hanni El Khatib, and the Horrors.
Bands/Artists you should listen to right now: Julie Christmas, the Pill (Germany), Hinds, Hello Mary, Idles, Mannequin Pussy, Movements, Skynd, Toro y Moi, Turnstile, Twin Tribes, Zeal & Ardor, Basic Printer, Drab Majesty, Ecca Vandal, Findlay, frog power, Like Roses, Peking Duk, Aberdeen is Dead, Gouge Away, Dosser, THE HARA, I Speak Machine, SPRINTS, We Hate You Please Die, Thee Oh Sees, Violent Vira, Fountaines DC,
5 songs for my mental health:
1) We’re In This Together by Nine Inch Nails for when I’m angry.
2) Forgotten Pleasures by Findlay when I’m feeling confused or scared.
3) Chalk Outlines by REN & CHINCHILLA when I feel like nobody understands what I’m going through.
4) In the Dark by Joji when I feel lonely.
5) Love will Tear us Apart by Joy Division when things aren’t going my way.
Top 5 Pop Music Guilty Pleasures:
1) I love Lady Gaga, her music, and everything she stands for. Paparazzi is my favorite.
2) Lana del Rey is amazing. Born to Die is my favorite but… it’s hard to find but check out Queen of the Gas Station.
3) Brittany Howard (Alabama Shakes) is a goddamn genius. You Ain’t Alone brings a tear to my eye every time I hear it.
4) Prince, needs no explanation. I can listen to the Purple Rain soundtrack on loop all day.
5) The Neighbourhood, they just hit my squishy spot. I think Stargazing is their best song.
Music Hot Take: A lot of love songs, especially the oldies, are toxic AF. Seriously, just read the lyrics without the music. Toxic.