Ever since the COVID-19 pandemic, there has been a lot of resources, hashtags, taglines, viral videos, and celebrity messaging being shared around mental health.
But talking about mental health as a general concept is not really talking about all that mental health entails, much less how it shows up and impacts people’s lives.
Mental health is not like a cold or the flu. It’s not caused by a virus or bacterium in which our bodies fights off and heals itself. And much like NyQuil and Mucinex, medication often only treats the symptoms of certain disorders, not the disorder itself.
Also, mental health affects each person differently, so there is no one-treatment-fits-all approach that will work. Some dealing with a mental disorder can lead perfectly normal lives through medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, diet and exercise, and strong relationships. Others aren’t so lucky as their conditions are so debilitating that their lives spiral out of control.
On top of that, some people are born with mental health disorders that are programmed into their DNA, such as ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Autism, and Schizophrenia. Others develop mental health disorders as a result of experienced trauma and effects of substance abuse, like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Body Dysmorphia, and Anxiety.
In other words, mental health is a huge freaking beast, and in most cases, it can’t be cured. So what the hell are we talking about when we talk about mental health?
WTF are we talking about?
The whole premise behind this image above is bullshit. People suffering with mental health challenges don’t choose to focus on self-doubt or negative self-talk, much like people don’t get sick because they actively looked to catch the influenza virus. That’s not how it works.
But let’s keep going with the plant analogy for the sake of the argument. Things like self-doubt, negative self-talk, depression, anxiety, grief, dread, guilt, and even self-hate aren’t plants at all. They’re actually weeds. And just like weeds, we don’t have to water them to grow. They just show up and find their way into your garden unwanted and uninvited.
They take away water, soil, nutrients, and sunlight away from the plants that we want to grow – like happiness, self-compassion, and sleep – and thus causing them to wilt. No matter how many times you pull them out, how much Round-Up you use, or how careful you are with your lawn’s weed-care regimen, weeds will always manage to grow right back.
And then there are the flowers that looks like fun plants but are, in fact, the worst weeds of them all. Dandelions that are so pretty and fun to play with that end up spreading like wildfire and cause great damage to your lawn. Those dandelions represent addiction and it can overtake your garden quickly.
Where do we go from here?
Analogies aside, we need to stop oversimplifying the huge issue of mental health and the even bigger implications it has on people’s lives. Instead, let’s open up real conversations with people who are living with the all the different types of these conditions everyday.
I understand the sentiment behind images like this. I get it, you want to be an ally and thought this would be a great way to spread some advice. But when it comes down to it, these kinds of gestures are just another way we talk about mental health without understanding mental health.
That’s why we talk about our feelings, emotions, and experiences on RockMental so openly because we believe that’s the only way we can truly understand how mental disorders, illnesses, and episodes impact our lives. We want to encourage those living with their weeds to speak for themselves and not have someone else speak for them. To have their voices heard and not reduced to a viral meme.
For those truly looking for a way to help and be a powerful ally to those suffering with mental health issues, the first step you can do is to kindly stop posting crap like the image above, shut up, and just listen. Listen to our stories, hear the words we use, imagine how our experiences have shaped us and our journeys, and answer the call when we ask for help. It’s that simple. Just be there and listen.
Because listening will then create a space for safe and healthy discussion. Then discussion can lead to better understanding, and then ultimately acceptance. In the end, that’s all we really want: to be accepted in society for who we are as human beings, not being reduced to a diagnosis.
