Veteran’s Day is tough for me. Yes, I served. I was a Combat Medic in the Army, I didn’t really spend much time oversees, didn’t see any direct combat. For the exception of a failed coup attempt in the Philippines, my service was mostly free of any real danger. Nevertheless, I still developed PTSD and other anxiety disorders caused by the trauma I witnessed first hand as I responded to emergencies, some very gruesome. This message isn’t about me, though. I have this platform to share my story. It’s about my guys that made it home but didn’t really make it all the way back.

If you’re a veteran, you probably know that one person who’s kept up with all the people in the unit. My friend is Joe. He calls about once a year and we talk for about an hour. I both love and hate his calls. It starts out pleasant, checking in on family, what our kids are up to, how work is going, and reminiscing on the good times. After a while, though, we catch up on everybody else. I cringe when he starts, “Did you hear about…”, because so far, 4 names were followed by “deceased, self inflicted”. There are no words to describe how that feels, that feeling of profound loss due to suicide. It’s one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced. Just the thought of hearing about another one of my guys committing suicide is enough to ruin my day. (I’m choking up just writing this.)

This Veteran’s Day, I would like everybody reading this to take a pledge. If you know a veteran, check in on them. Ask them how they’re doing. If they need anything. Look for those signs of suicidal ideations, especially if they’re suddenly unusually happy or giving things away. If you notice anything that concerns you, even a slight suspicion, grab on to that veteran, don’t let go, and dial 988, option 1, or walk them into the closest emergency room. Don’t let go until they’re in the hands of a licensed medical professional. You might just save a life.

If you’re a veteran in crisis, don’t give up. Don’t. Give. Up. Ask the person next to you for help. If they don’t, ask the next person and the next. Don’t stop until you get the help you need and deserve. It’s hard. It’s really, really hard. I’m not going to lie, it was harder than anything I had to do in my time in the Army but you are worth it. Those things that happened to you, the things you saw, the things you had to do to survive only exist in the past. It’s time to move forward, face your demons, and live to fight another day. If my punk ass can do it, you can too.

Here are a few resources. Please, please write these numbers down or save them in your phone. Save these pages on your web browser. Nobody fights alone, we’re in this together.

#MoshPitMentality

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Available 24/7. Dial 988. Select option 1 for the Veterans/Military Crisis Line. You can also text 838255

VA Suicide Prevention Information https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention/

Military One Source – Veterans/Military Crisis Line https://www.militaryonesource.mil/benefits/veterans-crisis-line/

Your’s,

Midlife Mayhem

Just one song for this day… Release is Peace