So there I am, about to enter Petco Park in San Diego, when it occurs to me… I’m one of the oldest people in the seemingly endless line to enter this show. Aside from the merch hawks pushing their terrible knockoff t-shirts and the rubberneckers turning their noses up as they pass the crowd of punk rockers and metal heads from their too-expensive luxury rides, I’m one of the few middle aged attendees sprinkled in between groups of a new generation of Deftones fans. The moment is surreal, the hum of excitement of kids debating which Deftones album is the best (White Pony is the only right answer by the way), loudly attempting to manifest their favorite songs into the evening’s setlist, and their strategies to secure a spot at the very edge of the stage. Prime real estate. Nostalgia is a hell of a thing, I was one of these kids only a couple of decades ago.
Attending this concert with me are my wife, Missus Mayhem, and my three boys. This is our little one’s second concert (lucky guy) and he’s stoked to see his favorite band live, Idles. My two older boys, you might recognize as Bookie and KindaFigured, mindlessly follow the line as they engage in planning their experience. The line is long, at least four blocks, but moves fast. In no time, we pass through security, find our seats, and settle in for one hell of a show. A quick summary of the openers:
First on the lineup is R&B sensation Quendresa, who hails from Northwest London and boasts a healthy ~300k monthly listeners on Spotify. At first, one might scratch their head wondering “why?”, but considering previous DDLD performers like Doja Cat and Megan the Stallion, I have a feeling we’ll be hearing quite a bit from Quendresa in the very near future. The bass heavy riffs in 2 Much and the soft spoken but biting lyrics in Don’t Stop bring me back to early ‘90s R&B with an edge.
Next is the formidable Gel, the hardcore punk group from New Jersey that I can’t seem to play loud enough. Although ~150k monthly listeners on Spotify is nothing to scoff at, it still seems almost criminally low considering the raw energy and badassery that they pour into every one of their songs. Every. Single. One. Their new EP Persona dropped on August 16th, 2024, but the setlist includes songs from their 2 previous albums Only Constant and Violent Closure with a couple of early singles from their Shock Therapy EP sprinkled in between. As I sit here writing, I find it hard to pick just two or three songs to feature so I’ll suggest that you start with the Shock Therapy EP and work your way up from there. It’s well worth the investment.
The third act is HEALTH, the um… experimental? noise? rock outfit from Los Angeles with over 2 million monthly listeners. If you’re familiar with the video game Cyberpunk 2077, you might recognize their collab with Window Weather on the single Major Crimes. For me, it’s hard to peg them down to a single subgenre and “experimental” is too broad of a term for me so I’ll put it like this… If you enjoy the industrial noise of Nine Inch Nails or Stabbing Westward, the jarring and eerie sound of acts like White Zombie or Skynd, and the feel of New Wave legends like New Order or Depeche Mode, HEALTH has something for you. They recently released an Ultra Edition of their 2023 album Rat Wars. For me, DSM-V, Hateful, and Feel Nothing were their best songs of the evening.
Rounding out the first half of DDLD is Duster, another California based band with almost 5 million monthly Spotify listeners. Duster isn’t what I would consider very energetic or mosh-worthy, but their grungy shoegaze definitely found a niche amongst the other acts. It was a quick six song set, Duster opting to forego music from their latest release In Dreams, playing songs from their earlier work in their albums Stratosphere and Contemporary Movement as well as their Transmission, Flux EP. All in all, a solid set.
Sunny Day Real Estate, the emo band who have been celebrating the 30 year anniversary of their breakout album Diary, has been aggressively touring since March of this year. Don’t let the modest ~330k monthly Spotify listeners fool you, this album was a huge deal when it was released in 1994 and continues to attract huge crowds to this very day. A little history, SDRE first broke up in 1995 after their second album with brief reunions sprinkled over the next few decades. Their musical pedigree is impressive, SDRE’s current and past members have worked with acts like Foo Fighters, the B-52s, the Fire Theft, Goo Goo Dolls, Liz Phair, and Jewel. Their album Diary, in my opinion, deserves at least two listens.
Paris Texas is a hip hop duo from Los Angeles, they reach ~585k Spotify listeners every month which is way, way not enough. Of the six openers, this was the show I was looking forward to the most. If you haven’t heard of them, I humbly suggest that you stop reading this article immediately (okay, maybe finish this article first), open up your favorite streaming service, and give these guys a listen. They remind me of groups and artists like Odd Future, Outkast, MF DOOM, JPEGMAFIA (DDLD 2 alumni), Vince Staples, and N.E.R.D. I would start with FORCE OF HABIT, PANIC!!!, and girls like drugs. Honestly one of the most intriguing shows I’ve had the privilege to attend, these guys completely lived up to the hype.
Up to this point in the festival, the weather had been mostly pleasant with the warm sun smiling down on us metalheads with the occasional sprinkle keeping things interesting. Even as the sun sets, the weather mostly holds up through SDRE and Paris Texas. Almost as if ordained by the punk gods, as the anticipation of Idles builds up in the crowd, a cold chill ushers in a light drizzle with bouts of heavier rain. Perfect conditions for the most epic of mosh pits. As Missus Mayhem, Little Mayhem, and your’s truly settle into a dry seat, Bookie and KindaFigured disappearing into a growing crowd on the floor, Idles takes the stage and the concert takes on an entirely new energy.
I had the honor of attending Idles with Ganser in May at the South Side Ballroom in Dallas with KindaFigured. By far, the best show I can remember, so I had an idea of what to expect and the chaos they are capable of. I was excited to share this moment with my favorite little monster and fellow Idles stan, Little Mayhem, we were locked in. In Dallas, lead singer Joe Talbot could be seen stretching and loosening up as IDEA 01 announced his entrance. Now on stage in San Diego at DDLD, I notice Joe isn’t stretching and warming up like before. He’s pacing. My first thought was maybe he and his bandmates were going to take it easy on us. I was wrong. Very, very wrong. He was prowling, hunting, taking in his prey. Idles did everything but take it easy on us.
I’m going to pause here by saying that if you’ve ever been to a live Idles show, you’ll understand my inability to fully capture my experience with words, sentences, and paragraphs. It’s truly an experience that you have to witness first hand to fully appreciate. I likened the concert in Dallas to getting kicked in the crotch for two hours straight, liking it, and begging for more. No magic was lost this time around. In fact, my appreciation for Idles grew exponentially. They are making an aggressive case for being added to my all-time favorite band list. I look forward to seeing them live again.
The pause before Deftones took the stage was well deserved and much needed. There was an unfortunate technical issue that delayed the beginning of their set that turned the anticipation up to eleven. Before I continue, though, I have to make a confession. I’m almost a little embarrassed to say that this is my first Deftones show. For whatever reason, it never worked out for me. It’s taken nearly 30 years of fandom to watch Chino and company live but it was well worth the wait. Worth it because this is our first Deftones show, the entire Mayhem family. I got to experience Deftones, my favorite band, live for the first time with the people I love the most and I can’t think of anything cooler than that.
Bros and female bros, this Deftones set was everything my middle-aged heart could hope for and more. It had a little of everything. They open with three bangers from their second album Around the Fur: Be Quiet and Drive, My Own Summer, and Lhabia. I even got to very poorly serenade Missus Mayhem with Swerve City (she likes horses and tames me with her voices) and Rx Queen (she’s my girl and that’s alright). For the first time in at least 5 years, they played Hexagram (a personal favorite), Rickets, and Beauty School (another favorite). But for me, it was songs like Headup, Around the Fur, Rosemary, 976-EVIL that made the concert for me. Deep cuts that take me back to the middle of the pandemic. Songs that made me fall in love with Deftones all over again.
The reason why Deftones are so important to me isn’t just their presence in the soundtrack of my life. Playing in between the victories and defeats, the conquests and heartache. In early 2020, when the pandemic forced most of the world indoors, I was at the pinnacle of my mental health journey. I hadn’t yet started counseling for the military trauma that kept me up at night. I was still in the middle of trying different medications to help stabilize my mood. I was still struggling with panic attacks, flash backs, and temper flares. Anybody who knows about Bipolar Disorder and PTSD will tell you that routine, consistency, and healthy habits are crucial. None of that existed for me at the time. I would try to go to follow the advice provided to me. Tried waking up and going to bed at the same time. Tried maintaining a healthy exercise routine and diet. I tried everything, but I wasn’t doing very well. I was very close to crisis, I just didn’t know how close at the time.
For whatever reason, the idea of blaring music to manage the racing thoughts hadn’t came to mind just yet. It wasn’t until Bookie called me out of nowhere asking “Hey dad, have you heard of a band called the Deftones?”, that it occurred to me. Of course, I was stoked to share my love for this band with my son, but something else happened. I listened, actually listened to the music. The lyrics. The emotion. It all came together. I started with the easy ones, Change (In the House of Flies) and Digital Bath. I eventually decided to try all of White Pony when I learned that they were releasing the Black Stallion 20th Anniversary Edition. News of Ohms came next and I decided that I needed to prepare. I downloaded every Deftones album and decided to not only listen but study. From there, it was like magic.
I joked with my brothers six or so months into the lockdown that I now understand Deftones. I get them. They get me. What I meant by that is Deftones were keeping me sane. They were keeping me going. I read about Chino Moreno’s struggles with addiction, divorce, and the relationships with his bandmates and could immediately relate to songs like Hole in the Earth, Entombed, Rocket Skates, and Beware. The anger, heartache, depression, and search for… something. This is why Deftones are so important to me. This is why this show, Dia De Los Deftones, was so special. It was a reminder of how far I’ve come and how far I still have to go. That there is somebody out there that understands what I’m going through. Sharing it with the people I love in a calming sea of likeminded fans was a bonus. This is the power of music.
We’ll be going to the Deftones show in Phoenix next March, they’re performing with fellow El Pasoans, The Mars Volta, as well as up and coming punk powerhouse Fleshwater. There are rumors of a new Deftones album coming out late 2024 or early 2025, so we’ll see if this upcoming tour is to promote that. That means it’s time to dust off Adrenaline and listen through a few times before moving to Around the Fur and so on.
#MoshPitMentality – Nobody moshes alone.
Midlife Mayhem
